Archive | December, 2011

10 Annoying Christmas Week Observations

20 Dec

I refuse to be held responsible for the following remarks.

1.  People in SUV’s who think they should fit their behomoth into a parking space designed for a normal sized car so that when owner of normal sized car returns to parking space they cannot open their driver’s door to get inside of their normal sized car.

2.  Clueless people who bump into you repeatedly with their big square shopping bags filled with crap they purchased for relatives they don’t even like very much but need aforementioned relatives to think they’re big spenders.

3.  Crowded food courts with people in festive ugly Christmas sweaters chomping on Chik-Fil-A waffle fries as if they’ve never eaten before, complete with gaped open mouths displaying masticated French fries. And ketchup.

4. Ugly Christmas sweaters. Especially the ones with bells hanging from them.

5. The color red EvERYWHeRE.

6. The colors green and red everywhere.

7.  Holiday tunes blaring from random speakers. I think I heard “Frosty the Snowman” piped into the highway here in D.C.

8.  Glitter. I loathe glitter to my innermost fibers.

9.  Parents pulling their kids’ arms to come closer to Santa to take a picture on his ample lap as he hides behind a fake beard with bits of yesterday’s lunch break still stuck to it.

10.  Myself. For being so annoyed by it all. Every year, same thing. You’d think I’d have mastered the art of ignoring people by now.

P.S.: If you’d like to purchase this sweater it’s on ebay (not mine; have no idea who the seller is) here.

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Obnoxiously Loud Commercials Get the Boot From F.C.C.

13 Dec

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

Years ago a relative and I mused that the television commercials were noticably louder than the regular programming. I mean, one of us would leave the room during a commercial break and suddenly a man (rarely a woman) would be yelling all the way through the house about Subarus for sale or prescription drugs or designer men’s suits!!!!

It was particularly a nuisance when it was late at night where one had the volume set just right so as not to awaken any others and then suddenly the volume would fluctuate. Babies would awaken. Dogs would bark. Toaster ovens would pop up without prompting. It was plain ugly.

Then today I read this. 

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Tired of Big Companies bullying us, subliminally controlling us and then yelling at us to do, to buy whatever they’re yelling about.

I knew we weren’t imagining deliberate higher volumes.

Snicker, snicker, snicker.