I refuse to be held responsible for the following remarks.
1. People in SUV’s who think they should fit their behomoth into a parking space designed for a normal sized car so that when owner of normal sized car returns to parking space they cannot open their driver’s door to get inside of their normal sized car.
2. Clueless people who bump into you repeatedly with their big square shopping bags filled with crap they purchased for relatives they don’t even like very much but need aforementioned relatives to think they’re big spenders.
3. Crowded food courts with people in festive ugly Christmas sweaters chomping on Chik-Fil-A waffle fries as if they’ve never eaten before, complete with gaped open mouths displaying masticated French fries. And ketchup.
4. Ugly Christmas sweaters. Especially the ones with bells hanging from them.
5. The color red EvERYWHeRE.
6. The colors green and red everywhere.
7. Holiday tunes blaring from random speakers. I think I heard “Frosty the Snowman” piped into the highway here in D.C.
8. Glitter. I loathe glitter to my innermost fibers.
9. Parents pulling their kids’ arms to come closer to Santa to take a picture on his ample lap as he hides behind a fake beard with bits of yesterday’s lunch break still stuck to it.
10. Myself. For being so annoyed by it all. Every year, same thing. You’d think I’d have mastered the art of ignoring people by now.
P.S.: If you’d like to purchase this sweater it’s on ebay (not mine; have no idea who the seller is) here.