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Pumpkins, Pumpkins Everywhere

17 Oct


I have a vent to make.

A pumpkin vent. A big, orange, round, heavy pumpkin complaint.

For some reason the pumpkin frenzy, the ubiquitous pumpkinpalooza is driving me crazy this October.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I LOVES PUMPKINS, especially the cute itty bitty ones that cost, like, $1.00 and you can place it right there on your desk or coffee table or kitchen counter.

I also love pumpkin bread, especially properly made pumpkin bread–not the kind with random debris in it–seeds, walnuts, sprinkles crap– ugly tongue surprises when you just wanted to chew into some nice smooth soft bread. (Any suggestions for great pumpkin bread: leave in comments section or private e-mail. THANKING YOU IN ADVANCE.)

But this whole orange world that I’m currently surrounded by is really annoying me.




I think I saw one on top of a really huge hideous SUV.

Or was it atop a McMansion roof?

Perhaps I dreamt that I saw one being pushed down the street in a baby stroller.

I’m pumpkin’d out already.

I’m, like, the pumpkin scrooge. The Grim Pumpkin Reaper. I have pumpkin “rage.”

But then I just had a thought. A very disturbing thought…

After PumpkinVille I’ll be bombarded with Christmas crap.

Oy infinity.

I swear, I need to live in a compound somewhere where I can control the very daily images that enter my retinas.

Carry on out there.