Archive | April, 2011

Dirty, Dirty Writer

29 Apr

Friends, I’ve been working on a book that I actually wrote about four years ago. I’ve probably edited it about nine times now. It never ceases to amaze me how many mistakes one can still find after a gazillion edits.

This time around, the book WILL BE PUBLISHED. Period. My inner renegade has awakened. And it’s only April.

When I get into this writer/editing mode it consumes me. I sleep four hours a night. I can’t watch an entire television show without thought bubble interruptions. I’m constantly scribbling notes to self. It’s a dark world but not so dark because whenever I delve in to my literary-ness I sense hope.

But while in the midst of this right brain-ness I become a loner who mumbles a lot and forgets to change my clothes or brush my teeth.

I feel a film forming on them. I think it’s mold.

‘Til next time.

Gone body cleanin’.

Gold, Gold Everywhere

22 Apr

Yep, when I read this I get a bit twisted into a knot. Not a small, cute, I-learned-this-in-Boy-Scouts-knot, no. Rather a tight, peeved, nostrils flaring kinda knot.

See, I’ve discussed being flat broke and struggling before on this blog (see “starving artist” or “being broke” tagged posts) and I sadly resorted to selling not some but all of my random gold. I had gold from 1985, necklaces and a few rings. There was even a ring (perhaps a wedding band) I once found in 1997-98 in a hallway near the women’s bathroom in a high rise building I worked in in Arlington, Va. I did everything I could to find the owner. I typed up a flier and put it in the hallways, taped a copy in the elevator. No takers. So I ended up holding on to this ring for years.

I even sold that.

It was about two summers ago when I kept seeing WE BUY GOLD! signs everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I think I saw one on a funeral home foyer. At first I scoffed at such claims. TOP PRICE!! My personal stash of gold was tucked away– the ’85 gold, the found wedding band, the cartouches I purchased in Egypt with mere touches of gold on the lettering. I was desperate and there were WE BUY GOLD!! signs everywhere. I had ignored them for as long as I could; it was time to act.

So I sold my stash o’ gold to a jewelry store in Fairfax, Va. Yep. Even as I was walking through the door I felt dirty, odd, disheveled. I was carrying in a name necklace that I had since 1985. I mean, I was probably wearing that necklace when Pretty in Pink was in theaters. I’m positive that I watched Ally Sheedy throw that awful piece of “pickled” bologna against the wall in Saturday detention in The Breakfast Club in that very necklace that bore my name on it in a flowery gold square shape that I purchased all by myself in Georgetown.


It was all too much. But I took my bits o’ jewelry in and laid the tiny pile on the counter. Suddenly several sets of eyes shifted towards me and then my pile o’ gold. Hands swiftly touched the jewelry while it was examined and I think sniffed by a man in a suit.

Long story shortened, I left there with probably $76.12 in my pocket and to be perfectly honest the 12 cents is an embellishment.

I felt even dirtier and crappy and I imagined that’s what people all over the nation must feel like when they take a family heirloom or their precious whatever in to a pawn shop because right then and there they needed gas or to pay their light bill or get their car fixed.

So now I’m gold-less and still a starving artist and when I see a John Hughes movie I get all misty not only because I miss the ’80’s but my gold got not only underpriced but lost with it.

I still have my silver, though. All 5.8 pieces of it. And nobody’s gettin’ it.

Reasons to Become a Hermit (& Other Observations)

18 Apr

I don’t know if it’s old(er) age or what, but I’m finding the human species to be more and more–how do I put this?–annoying. Nope, too lite of a word.

I’m finding people everywhere to be just loathsome. I know, strong word.

There’s no way to fully document it here and of course there would not be enough bandwidth in the world to fully describe people’s nuances, neurosis, sheer cluelessness, etc., etc., but for an ink dot of a start:

1.  Do people notice themselves? I mean, truly notice their presence in the world?

Random encounters this week that heavily connect to point #1:

A man deeply picking his nose on a super public bench. I mean, there was true excavation involved. The more he dug, the more I feared heavy bleeding and a call to 911 from random passersby.

People who stand way too close to you anywhere,in a line at the grocery store, at Starbucks, at the tax office, wherever. I mean, they will COUGH on your neck and then when you turn around to give them The Eye they will have the audacity to say to you “Is there a problem?”

I can’t even write any more. I cannot. I can’t even go to point # 2. I swear, I need to hurry up and get health insurance again so I can go to a really good therapist and learn to deal with PEOPLE.

Dollar Store Madness

6 Apr

This cannot be good.

I used to take my nephew (though now he’s in his 20’s) to the dollar store and let him run wild and pick out, like, 158-thousand items for about $6.10, mostly breakable toys and snacks galore and he’d leave thinking that he’d hit some sorta kid lottery. Squirt guns were my his favorite.

So I’ve been a dollar store head for quite some time. Of course I don’t go there to buy anything serious; just snacks or really cheap napkins or tissue paper for my art sales.

But honey the dollar store has changed, I say.

They now have these:

Oy. Oy. Oy.

I can’t take it. It’s too much.

I find it hard to drive past a Dollar Tree without my mouth watering for an Edward’s Key Lime Tastebud Extravaganza. All for a dollar plus tax. Serotonin and endorphins running freely through fields of sugar induced fat grams.

It’s a mess.

I need key lime therapy.

Art Race

4 Apr

This is my new obsession. Art Race on Halogen TV.

It’s more delicious than food.

I get goose bumps sometimes when I watch it because lately I’ve been living this lifestyle. Sort of. (Minus the hitchhiking and camera crew.)

I almost can’t get enough.

I hope this show is doing gold in ratings so that it will return for many more seasons. Or at least two more seasons.

It’s on one of those channels that most people don’t navigate to. Up there by the religious channels on Verison FiOS.

Art hustlin’. LOVE IT.